But he wants me to admit to the hubby that i am with him. I really love my friend and it was only him I loved since time!!! The sex part I tried, but it feels like I walked upon a wall and were not getting anywhere, so I stopped talking about that. Hi Jodi, thank you for sharing your story. I can also recommend a program we have created to help people move on from an unhappy marriage with grace and peace of mind. I could be seeing this wrong, but I think he is intentionally pushing your boundaries because he thinks he can get away with it. And doesnt like my suggestions, it makes him feel uncomfortable. We talk everyday and even though we didnt have sex I still feel like im cheating, but at the same time I dont want it to stop. Hi JJ, thank you for sharing your story. You've Become Disposable. If you want to save your marriage, you absolutely can. The Fora platform includes forum software by XenForo. The flame and the complicity between the two people were not being nurtured so the person who sought comfort outside of the relationship felt like they needed something that they werent receiving inside the relationship. Or if I try to I quickly change subject and act all good because of his reaction. The complexities of love can feel very paralyzing, especially when multiple people are involved, so I understand that you feel like you dont know which direction to take. I feel like I cant move on either way because I am ruining people. If you can make people feel important in a genuine way, then you can really reinforce the bond between you. The result is that many people get taken for granted and when this goes on for too long, the bond between the two people begins to crumble. Its hard bc I dont want to live without him, but also dont want him to be with me if he cannot be committed. I dont think hes ever cheated because I get the vibe that he feels like he can get away with whatever since has never cheats. Its my downfall to try to take care of everyone and make sure everyone is happy. He has never loved any woman in his heart apart from me. Instead, he wanted to find a way to save it. I contacted her to tell her about all the problems that weve had in our marriage. Hi Melanie, Thank you for your question. To access it, just click here. Archived. After telling people we were separated, a dear friend admitted his feelings for me and he is amazing, I have a lot of love for him but I never had an affair. She went out, back to the city, almost every other weekend, until last month, when she finally told me about her love for the other. This means that it needs to be nurtured in order to be kept alive. Ive been married for 8 years. Sometimes reasonable, unemotional spouse cannot take the decision of divorce even if they refused the idea of falling back in love with each other because they have kids and they think only about whatever is good decision for their kids. I am married and want to sleep with someone else. My issue is this: I love my husband, Im not ready to give up his friend ship, or him as a person just as a lover. And so much attached that i have lost interest in making any intimate or physical relation with my wife. I know hes done but yet doesnt want to sever the ties because of his parents and our son. About a year ago I left on business and it was about 11 months long. So nobody will understand.. and Im thinking Im crazy and its all on me. Theyre just our psychological responses to the events that are taking place around us. But everytime i think of losing him, my heart is heavy and i feel like my world will crumble. It is true that some people will opt to stay in a relationship in order to protect their family and the environment in which their children grow up, but it is also important to note that sometimes the tensions that build between the two spouses living under the same roof can have more of a negative effect on the children than a divorce or a separation. We have always had what I thought was a good relationship. For some of you, you might be feeling like you are in love with two people at the same time, and others of you might feel that you dont feel anything for your spouse anymore. [IS IT MY FAULT? Though new love is always so tempting. There were no major problems with my marriage and between us we have 5 children and 10 grandchildren that are my greatest joy. John, I would like if we could talk because it sounds like I am in your wifes situation. I wanted to cheat. So when Im feeling bad I often feel alone, I cant really talk about it with him. Be careful with how much you allow, because you are in essense teaching someone how they can treat you. Play out? The solution at this juncture is to think about what you need in order to be truly happy: Your current marriage or being free of it? He gropes me whenever he wants to have sex..there is no four play. I had a long talk with the mother of my kids and we settled out our differences and we talked about whether we were still in love with eachother after 20years of being apart and come to find out we both are. We grew up together, but for the past few years it seems we are more like roommates than a married couple. Im trying to look for answers I recently split with my boyfriend of 2 years got back together he proposed to me even though I told him to wait until we are back on track I love him but Im not in love with him I have strong feelings for someone I work with who has also told me he loves me and Im torn dont know what too do Im no longer the same person I was two years ago with my boyfriend and that the person I work with makes me feel loved and is more like me and we have more in common totally confused. I have been a good mother, daughter, sister, grandmother Always thinking of whats best for everyone in the family but myself. When the timing feels right, your husband will appreciate your honesty. You can influence, direct and control your own environment. 1.3 3. The other man is a better husband to me and cares for my children than my husband does. Yet I cant divorce my husband due to social stigma and potential effect on the children for not being with their biological dad. Since marriage I never loved my husband. And last night, my guy told me, he just wants me to be honest with myself and to not let other people treat me as a doormat and put myself first. He was exactly what I needed and I fell in love with him. We then had a couple of times that we met and the feelings are unreal and very powerful. Its been 12 years since the last time Ive dated this guy and I didnt think anything would happen considering he is married and has a daughter. Last but not least, you need to really think about how this is going to affect your own life. Manage Settings Until you gather conclusive evidence to verify all the physical signs your wife just slept with someone else, you . I dont know what to do anymore. He really is my best friend, but we live like roommates. I was wondering if he too thinks about me as much as I think about him because he broke it off for the sake of his marriage. We are happy but I still have those feelings for the other person. This drives me crazy! Im scared to tell the hubby i want to end our marriage for some time now. I fell in love with my roomate(best friend) and I am married. I think even if he started treated me right, Id still want my bestie, because it feels like hes the other half of me. What is this connection that I still have with her and how can I get to a place where I dont think about her everyday? He also wants to marry me. "I see. (It lasted about 3-4 months) Out of fear of what the future would hold, I decided to stay and work on my marriage because its my comfort zone even if it meant the drama. If you would like help through this challenging situation, please reach out to us for coaching by clicking here. If the man is married to someone else, then he may be committing adultery, which is a crime in some jurisdictions. I know that in the long run my best friend would make me happier. My husband and I have been married for almost 14 years and have 4 children. "We slept together once a week for about a year. I dont want to hurt my children and I dont want to hurt anyone. 3.3M subscribers in the NoStupidQuestions community. How were you feeling in your marriage before this other person came along? Ive seen this happen many times and a lot of the times it doesnt work it. This article will provide you with tools for analyzing your feelings and getting a better idea of what you truly want, and then I will explain some tools to help you reach your goal and be truly happy in love. You need to check the relationship barometer. I dont have much confidence. Or are the two of you happily married, and she is just a carefree spirit who likes to indulge in life and all that it potentially has to offer her? My husband got married for my children sake though I care for him and I dont want to hurt him because he is a good guy. Well about a year later I see that he was at it again and I told him I wanted a divorce and of course he begged and said he was wrong and to forgive him, that he would go to sex aholics anonymous and see a psychologist. Husband checked out emotionally, we live like room mates, sleep in the same room but no intimacy. One of the people I worked with recently who came to me with a question about this type of situation wrote. Hes 62 years of age and has had emotional affairs, Recently, he has fallen in love with a psychotherapist from England. I will tell you right off the bat that I cannot make this decision for you. I think about it and then I feel horrible then I began to get turned on by the thought of being with someone else. Married for 12 years. I have been married for 25 years to my best friend. This term is used for a married woman who sleeps with other men with her husband's consent. I feel trapped and alone and Ive lost the person I fell in love with as well. And then i met this guy, online from another country. He doesnt know how to support me during this time with all the complexity of an ending marriage I was already checked out of, but living together, not yet divorced etc. We decided to have a second child and almost two years ago, our daughter was born, we married and moved into a bigger house and out of the city far out, with only fields and forest around us, like we dreamt of, when we were making Plans for our future life together. We met over 2 years ago he lives in Florida Ex girlfriend contacts me after 10 years. But still I stayed because I was now pregnant with our 3rd daughter. Hi Christine, thank you for sharing your story. But my problem is I cant let go of this guy. It can be difficult to know with certainty if a man has cheated on you. I went to a therapist because my affair and guilt got me depressed. He wants us to be back together but I think its to hurt my husband for cheating him, while we were together. I have told him he will never notice me while he is putting all of his romance and effort into this girl. I have been engaging in sexting with a childhood boyfriend that I got back in contact with after more than 20 years of not talking. In order to become a good listener, you have to really care about what your partner is saying. Is this a deal breaker? Hi from Germany. Might be better to keep this to yourself for now. 1.1 1. If you are not entirely sure about this, then bring it to your wife and explain to her why you do not feel comfortable with it and that you would prefer to remain monogamous. There are many details to every story and it would be our pleasure to help you find the path that makes you happiest in the longrun. 1.4 4. Hes still single nd we have mutual feeling for each other but am scared of the effect a divorce will have on my husband, our children nd people that arr close to us. I cheated on my spouse almost 2 years ago. People who fantasize about someone other than their partner may also have fewer inhibitions and feel less constrained by the bonds of commitment. Instead of condemning people, lets try to understand them. Speak to each other about the good things, reinforce them, make exciting plans and commit to exciting adventures. 1 Why Your Husband Wants You to Sleep With Another Man. Hello.This article was extremely motivating, particularly because I was searching for thoughts on this topic last Wednesday. It seems they thought they would just do as the please and live a responsiblity free life and I would just hand the kids over for visits when he felt like. Hi there, it is always best to take some time to yourself to heal after a separation. Not only that, he wants to rub your face in it. It was never his fault. I dont know who I am anymore. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. 6 Reasons Why Your Wife Wants You To Sleep With Another Woman . I cant stop loving this man. If you aremarried and have fallen in love with someone else, it is crucial that you are very honest with yourself from here on out. We understand that physical intimacy declines with time. Texas | 167 views, 4 likes, 0 loves, 6 comments, 2 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Shekinah Tabernacle Baptist Church of Dallas, TX: Shekinah. Married to someone I despise and am disgusted by and can never be happy around my own children. So what advice can I give you? Im feeling drawn my coworker. You are worthy of love, you are worthy of respect, and you are worthy of being treated well. I thought we would be married, but one day i woke up and decided i just couldnt do it anymore. You want to be able to give a good example to what a healthy relationship looks like. 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